i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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