After last night, I could never be a politician.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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