I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
