THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
