Sry I called you an 8
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize