I cannot find my penis.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
