It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
