Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
