this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
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I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
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I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.