i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.