i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me