You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize