I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
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Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
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I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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