We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I need to stop coming to work sober
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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