well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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