Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
i think im in europe. pls send help
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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