you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
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I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
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Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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