I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
