I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
