her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
