can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
