I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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