I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
