Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
