mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
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he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
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My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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