Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
