we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
