Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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