hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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