I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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