i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
