why didn't you poke me back
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
