I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
