I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
