so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
