we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
