just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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