I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize