I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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