I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
