are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
