I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
