i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
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