He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
