her vagine was all disorganized.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
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