But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
