i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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