how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
