I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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