So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
