Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
