chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize