Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
