he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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