You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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