I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize