what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
