I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
