12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
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He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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