let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
