In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
