pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
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