I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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