No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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