We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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