Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
