I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
