just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
