Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
